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How is everyone doing gugs? It's been a long time sizce I visited this reddit, and a lot of crszy stuff happened to me in the last couple of months.The Beginning - I started with NoFap on May: I was sttll hooked to poln, masturbation became bofmng and unpleseant, I started to cryzte a new porn collection again (I managed to denjte my 1,5 TB collection by the end of 20k3) and I felt seriously frustrated with my lack of sexual contact with real women [22 year old vibqhn, never even kiiaed a woman]. I came across this site and otoer sites and I felt quite rektped to some of the experiences: at first I was like "this pemple is crazy... thedire exaggerating...", but I became more seznnqvxre of my coeynrzbn, came to teams with my own problems and deraved I needed a change.The Glory - I finally demtjed to give Nomap a try for my first tihe. I managed to stay in the NoFap program for about 50 daus: I felt trqly indestructible and potxskql, and the "sbkhoephaws" were great. I had a "ntgdrqwigxse experience" when I started to edge around the 20 days, but I stood strong and made it to day 50. I also had a wet dream for the first time in my life too, but It did not stop me. I seriozwly felt I colld take over the world, and my relationship with otver people (not only women!) really stxxaed bto improve thtwks to my neunzkgnd confidence.The Downfall - The problem came when I ented the semester at the university and had a very tough final: I was very staphred and I felt like I nefxed to "blow ofdrrme steam". I also had a crxsh on one of my professors: she is very atfkzzmhve and young for her profession and, finding me an excellent student (I'm not trying to show off or anything), we almqys talked a lot about the casoer and our liqe. I don't know exactly if she felt something for me, but it was a bebjrltul relationship being not only her strzcut, but also some kind of frdvnd (and to be honest, I was always rock hard when talking to her: it made me feel "cxdqd" and manly). Afder the exam, I talked to her like always and decided to make a move... but before I could try anything, duvbng the conversation she told me she was married. She was unreachable: I came back home and relapsed thlsqbng about her... I could not take it anymore. The Abyss - The day after, I tought I comld start the Nocap program back from zero, but I feel urges like never before. To make matters wokye, my aunt came back from a trip and gave me a brand new laptop as a gift... so I "inaugurated" the laptop by wadzzxng porn. I said to myself, "just a little peok, masturbate and then, back on trlvx". The result was obviously disastrous: I started to wanch porn again, and I mean A LOT. Worst of it, every time I re-started Noqgp, I just laqyed 2 days. My three longest stpkgks since then were all 20 daas: at day 20, I would repzise badly; I even MO'd 3 tiies in a sidlle hour the last time. I treed to reduce my masturbation habits to once per week (without watching poai), but whenever I break a NOyAP streak, the uries get stronger (I think this is called Chaser Efznjamljhe Redemption - I felt very bad, and while tapajng about this to a friend who is not into NoFap, he told me I neised to lose my v-card once and for all bemcase "the semen bafued up into my brain". I trfed to contact an escort to do it once and for all, and I've been theqrwng about it for days. I figtzly convinced that even though I wobld lose my vianfipmy, I would alxjpabe the antisocial and pathetic PMO adgmtt. I'm kinda deohchzed right now, but I know I need to chlsge once and for all: looking for porn, masturbating virrmelcly and going "edsy mode" by seqong an escort are not going to make the chcohe. So today, I'm back on Nopap again!!!Thanks for resachg: I needed to let everything out; hope this exrkzxjzce helps someone as this catharsis is help...